It all comes back

Hadley loves to pick up on some of the things we say, and luckily I have learned to NOT say bad words in front of her..okay, to her "stupid" is a bad word! But she has learned to dish back to us what we say to her.

Example 1: When she is wanting to do something that well, isn't an option at that time I tell her, "Your options are you brush your teeth or I brush them." So she has learned to give this back, the other day as I am coming home from work tired with a headache and tell her mommy just wants to sit for a little bit she tells me, "Your options are we go to the park or ride our bike, okay?" All I could do was laugh and say, "Okay." And off we headed to the park, after she gave me some loves and kissed my head!

Example 2: Some mornings it is like pulling teeth to get Hadley out the door. And I have said, "Are you coming or not?" Well, Hadley has put a new spin to this. One day (and it has happened on many a days) me and Hadley were at the back door ready to leave and Jason was still on the computer (big surprise we were waiting for Jason!) and Hadley went over with her hand on her hip, hip cocked out and with a motion with her hand that is somewhat "valley girl" said, "Daddy, are you coming or not, because we are leaving."

I can only imagine what other things she will pick up from us!

How do you do this?

This is a question that I get asked about 3-4 times a week. How do I do what I do: being a Hospice Social Worker. The answer is not easy. My job revolves around those that are dying. I am there when a patient/family just find out there are no other treatment options, when a family sees a loved one go from being fine to being in the hospital on a vent, when children learn their parent is dying, when someone learns or decides their fight is up. I work with parents learning to accept they won't be there to see their children grow, graduate, get married, or see their grandchildren. I work with spouses who are having to say good-bye to their one true love for the last 60+ years. I work with children struggling to make the choice for their parent who cannot speak. I help those trying to decide; continue the feeding tube, take off the vent, stop all treatments. I am in hospitals, nursing homes, and homes. I see cancer, dementia, MS, ALS, Cardio problems, and just failure to thrive. I see those in their 30's to those in their 90's. I hold their hand, I talk and most importantly let them talk. I educate and reassure them of their choice. I validate their anger, saddness, and relief. And I leave there knowing I gave them the compassion they needed. The education they needed. The validation. And most importantly I leave there knowing I have set them up with nurses, nurse assistants, chaplins, counseling, medications, equipment, support. I have given them a piece of comfort and mind. But what I leave with each time is the knowledge that at no ago are you safe from a life changing event. And at no time should you take for granted your own health, the health of those around you, and to always end every conversation with an "I Love You" and to always tell those in your life they are important. And most important for me, I leave there learning to enjoy life and live in the moment. For you never know when those moments are limited. I gain just as much or more from my patients as they do from me. So, that is how I do this.

One Week and Feeling Great!

It has been one week after surgery and Hadley is feeling great! There were a few rough days at first, not eating, bad moods, refusing medications..you name it! But the last two days my beautiful loving, and sometimes stubborn daughter returned!! And I would have to say..all it took was lots of love, tylenol, and of course ICE CREAM!!! And we will have to get back to you on the sleep..they said at least 14 days before all the swelling goes down..I am counting the days to a full night sleep!!!

White Trash??? No..Just Style!

My daughter must have a thing about wearing her undies at the beach..at least I can say we have moved from the overflowing pull up (August 2006) to pretty princess undies (June 2008)!!

Isn't Joan the best!!

Hadley was so excited on Thursday because we got a call from a florist saying flowers were coming for Hadley between 4:00-4:30. So we HAD to go outside at 3:40 and sit and wait! Every car or truck that came by.."Mommy, are those my flowers?" And since we didn't know who they could be from she kept running over the names of who could have sent her flowers.." maybe grandma and grandpa...maybe uncle steve and aunt vonn...I know maybe my cousins..." So for about 30 minutes this is what we did, and finally..."Mommy..you see that balloon..and flowers!!" And she ran to the gate to let the guy in!! She was so excited!! And the sender of the flowers.. Joan and family!! She told everyone.. "Joan and Talor sent me flowers!"

Thanks Joan for being such an amazing friend to both me and Hadley!! We love and miss you!!

Ahh..How Cute!

When I was talking to my mom today she told me "Dad was reading your blog last night." and I responded..." Ah..how cute!" Now I know my dad was reading my blog because he is obsessed with his grandaughter, but I know deep down it is really because he is obsessed with his daughter!!! Either way the obsession goes..Dad I love you!!!

To move..or not to move..that is the question

We are in the middle of this question.."To move..or not to move." Now in reality this choice isn't up to us. Again our fate is left in the medical training system! 3 years ago this brought us to Chicago..finding out in Feb. and moving in April. And now here we are again. Jason is interviewing for stroke fellowships and we have narrowed it down to Chicago, Iowa, and Kansas. I know first thought is..KANSAS!! But Jason interviewed at Iowa and loved it, the part I love..it is only 4 1/2 hours from home, cost of living is a lot less than Chicago (I may actually get to work part time..ah the dream!) Our second choice is Kansas..and lastly Chicago. (3 yrs ago we got our second choice..so you never know how it will work out!) We do love Chicago but we have missed out on so much being so far from family and friends! I have missed my nieces and nephews growing up, Hadley has missed time with her grandparents and cousins, I missed out on time with my Grandfather, Jason missed out on time with his Granny, Jason has missed out on time with his brother and I still haven't seen my best friends baby who was born in March!! And these are just the top things we have missed out on!! I give lots of admiration for those who gain from being away from family, I just don't feel enough gains! There are two gains from living away: it has made my marriage the best it can be (you really get close when all you have is eachother) and it has given me and Hadley a closeness I could never duplicate, at 4 yrs old she truely is my best friend. There are many more interviews to do and many more weeks of waiting..but until then we will enjoy every moment in Chicago! (And hoping to hear from Iowa soon!)

The tonsils have left the building

Today was quite a day for me as a mom, and for my baby! Hadley went into the hospital this morning with all her body parts and left minus 2 tonsils and 2 adnoids. And the road to this was a long and sleepless one. Background: about a year ago Hadley who was usually a sound sleeper began waking throughout the night. And I mean waking every 2-3 hours! As time went on and this continued I tried every sleep method known to man, many phone calls to the doctor (even to one quack who suggested valium), and every homeopathic remedy and medical remedy out there. At Hadley's 4 yr check up her pediatrician said, "Mrs. Day, it's time to see a specialist." This specialist was in the saint of Dr. Gerber, ENT. After talking with Dr. Gerber and discussing her night arousals, snoring, mouth sleeping, and night "fits" he took and x-ray of her throat and said, "yes, her tonsils and adnoids are enlarged." Not wanting to jump into surgery I attempted one last medical intervention and when that failed called begging for the surgery. And it was a good thing I did. Today at 8:30am my world entered the pediatric surgery unit. After 40 minutes of stomach knots Dr. Gerber came out and said all went well. Her tonsils were filling 75% of her airway. I was floored, I couldn't image my poor baby had only been breathing with 25% of her airway, no wonder she couldn't sleep. Hadley was a saint, slept all day in recovery and then came home to cuddle and eat ice cream. All we can pray for now is a full night sleep, as both of us haven't had one in a year!

So here I am..joining in the blog world

I, like all others, never thought of blogging. I do have a journal for Hadley about her big happenings, cute sayings, life events. But that is more personal for her to read one day and see how loved she is by her mother. Or maybe to pull out when she is a teenager when she shrieks, "you just don't love me!" as she is begging to do something we all know is only going to lead to trouble (and we know this because we all did it.) But as I have seen some friends join the blogging world and enjoy so much reading about their lives as I live far from them, I thought 'why not'. We all know as we get older, have kids, careers, etc, our lives sad but true become too busy to make phone calls, too busy to find time to write 5 emails, but still hold those dear in our hearts. And it seems blogging helps us all see into eachother's lives and still stay connected. So here I am..joining in the blog world!