Ya Get What Ya Get

I have been doing a lot of refocusing on who I am as a person this last year and what type of person I want to be. Ya know the whole, "who do you want to be when you grow up?" talk. The last 4 yrs here in Chicago have really forced me to grow up fast, I have been forced into a strange city having no family support and no friends and said.."Here, figure it out." I had a husband who works nonstop days, sometimes coming home before 9:00 at night, usually not, sometimes working 14 days in a row, most the time working weekends. I have a daughter who has learned to only know Mommy's rules for the most part. And on top of that I worked full time with a 30-45 minute commute and ran the home full time. So in the middle of all this I have had no time for myself or who I was. So I have braved it with a smile, put on the brave face everyone expected of me and had my mental brakes along the way..which I am sure everyone also expected! So as I have tried to do some reflection as to the person, wife, and mother I really want to be in the new developing chapter in my life I like the phrase that I tell Hadley:

YA GET WHAT YA GET AND YOU DON'T GET UPSET

So for me this means, if I don't please everyone around me, it is okay. If people don't like what I write about (you've noticed my blogs are pretty neutral about life)or aren't impressed with how things are, it is okay. If I choose to still work it is okay, if I choose to stay home, it is okay. It is okay that our kids are going to be ages apart. And yes, people may think that some parts of my life are pathetic when they read them, but other parts are amazing..we all need balance. And it is okay that I have control issues and cannot go to bed with a dirty dish in the sink. And it is okay that I freak out if we are late to things, and yes it is also okay that it takes time for me to learn that the over control habits I have developed over these last 4 years of balancing it all on my own will take time.
So here is a glimpse of the chaos in my mind on a daily, if not hourly basis...so
YA GET WHAT YA GET...
and hope you like it cause now that the flood gates have opened, the blogs are coming!!